greekfamilyminimarket

My summer working in the family business on Corfu

Lettuces and Cucumbers

on August 24, 2012

Well, it was only a question of time – a physical scrap has ensued with one of my in laws. I’ll let you guess which one by the tone of this following conversation –

(I do apologise if you’re only just logging on to this blog, as this one is a bit of a doozy – bear on, and read back, if you need context….)

IN LAW – “Looby, so pretty today, come here, one moment, please cheat the till, beautiful, you are shining…”

ME – “No, In Law, I won’t cheat the till, apart from anything because that till is so old, you can’t cheat the till”

IN LAW – “Yes, I know, but please cheat it… This is your colour! So nice, Angelo is so lovely boy…”

ME – “You’re not listening to me – you never do – I can’t cheat the till, apart from the fact I don’t want to and it’s not right, you won’t pay for a new till to cheat, that till must be twenty five years old…”

IN LAW – (Smiling ridiculously) “I know, I know, Just do it, for me, for your family…”

ME – (Exploding) “YOU ARE NOT LISTENING. THE TILL CAN’T BE CHEATED BECAUSE YOU WON’T PAY FOR ONE TO BE CHEATED ON. IN FACT YOU WON’T PAY FOR ANYTHING THAT COULD HELP!”

IN LAW – “WHY YOU SHOUT AT ME? WHY EVERYONE HATES ME? (In Greek)- FUCK YOU TO GOD, FUCK ALL YOU WHORES, YOU CAME AND ATE MY LIFE!”

ME – “WELL I HAD BALLS BEFORE I MET YOU. YOU ATE MY BALLS. AND THE BALLS OF YOUR SONS!”

At which point IN LAW threw a box of lettuce at me. I responded with a box of cucumbers.

(It was early in the morning, nothing had been set up yet.)

DRAMATIC PAUSE

So, another good day in the office.

Fear not, this is actually perfectly normal. Maria (yes I confess it was her, could you tell?) and I made up my the afternoon, by which time the drama had turned to plates in the kitchen (nothing to do with me).

Who ever said Greek Island life was simple?

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2 responses to “Lettuces and Cucumbers

  1. Sylvia says:

    I love xxxxxx’s curses, fuck you to God fuck all the whores, you came and ate my life! . I’m going to use it all the time now.
    It has replaced shut your mother fucking hole as my favourite cus.

  2. Spiros says:

    I loved the part with the balls! Well done Louise, what a nice touche!!
    Spiros (Diane’s partner!)
    I ove the blog…keep up the good cursing ….awesome…

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