My summer working in the family business on Corfu

International Breaking News

on June 19, 2012

Mini market news seems to have gone global – Either that, or I need reading glasses. Look what I read, almost word for word, in a National UK paper yesterday.

Monday 18th June 2012

Mini Market on a Knife Edge in poll chaos.

Election stalemate leaves rescue deal for the Looby in doubt. (Finally, I get some attention!)

Europe’s economic problems deepened last night as family negotiations ended in stalemate. Early indications suggested the traditional centre-right Parent party (Maria and Yannis I presume) which wants to maintain the status quo, had a narrow lead over the extreme anti austerity Next Generation party. (Headed by Prokopis mainly, though not stated here.) Neither side can form a government, holding out the prospect of days of chaos as either try to cobble together a coalition. (There was a big fight on Sunday about hours and responsibility, which is what must be being referred to here.)

Angela Merkel (good lord, even she’s getting involved) is also being pressed to agree a lasting deal to shore up the Loobyzone. (That would be me I suppose.)

Looby has been dependent on more than 190 billion pounds of rescue sofas since May 1998, after sky high mates rates left her locked out of the international markets following years of profligate spending and falsifying financial data. (That’s a bit rich, I might sue them for printing that.)

In a speech at the G20 summit of world leaders in Mexico today, (oooh, truly global!) David Cameron will repeat his warnings that Loobyzone friends and family must make sacrifices if they want their Looby to survive. (I’m quite touched that the Prime Minister has recognised my mini market plight in such a public way.)

“The reality is that there are a set of things that the Loobyzone friends and family (the LFF) need to do, and it’s up to the LFF whether they are prepared to make the sacrifices these entail,” the Prime Minister will say. (David putting on the pressure!)

“The challenge is one of psychological will to work in the mini market as much as economics. Of course these things are difficult to do. The alternatives to action that creates a more verbally coherent Loobyzone, are either a perpetual stagnation, or a break up of the family business caused by a failure to address underlying psychological and economic mini market fundamentals that would have financial consequences that would badly damage the world economy, including Britain.” (Lot of political mumbo jumbo here,  but I think David’s suggesting that I f I can’t make it in the mini market, I may well have to resort to relying on staying on international sofas again for awhile, perhaps including in Britain?)

It’s just all been about me in the papers. I also read this (without reading glasses) in the gossip column-

She was dressed in her least regal outfit of underwear and flip flops, but when the Duchess of Glyfada joined a group of schoolchildren on the beach there was only one thing they wanted to know: What was it like to be a princess? As the group chatted around a sandcastle, it fell to Stavros Papadopoulos to ask the question. “She said it was very nice,” the eight year old said afterwards. “She said Jimmy (the Duke of Glyfada) was very sweet and kind and spoiled her with toasted sandwiches.”

Despite the nature of the occasion, Looby was as stylish as ever. Her floral patterned flip flops cost just under 3 pounds and were found in Savers second hand shop on Sydney Road, Melbourne. Her underwear, however, were donated by friends at Christmas.


2 responses to “International Breaking News

  1. Sal says:

    When travelling to Brunswick from Brissy I always pop in to Savers. It’s Mega!!

  2. rich head says:

    Was researching going on holiday to Glyfada, and found this blog, and iz hilarious. Soundz like you iz trapped!! iz there no wheres else youz can escape to in the world, or iz the minimart the ultimate place to be seen!?! Anyzway, will defo not be booking to stay therez now, but keep up the good blogz!!!

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